Mike's Birthday

Yesterday, January 21, 2014 would have been Mike's 40th birthday.  At the time of his death, he had been planning his 40th birthday bash for 2 years.  He had a guest list drawn up, a menu selected, there was probably a play list squirreled away for a DJ.  I have no doubt it would have been quite a scene.

Instead, yesterday, we were blanketed with a soft snowstorm.  Leah and I went out in the morning and set off "floating lights" into the sky.  She sent off a pink one and I sent off a green one, our favorite colors.  They went up beautifully and floated away, striking against the gray clouds of the pre-snow morning.

At noon, we ate pepperoni pizza and drank orange soda and after dinner, had a cake and sang Happy Birthday, and Leah blew out a candle.

I spoke to my mother-in-law and father-in-law, who sounded like you'd expect, and Leah gifted them with an actual conversation, which I did not expect, but I think it was pretty great all the way around.  I called my dad, who was aware of the date and the significance, and certain other members of the family were aware of the date and chose to behave badly anyway.  So I had that to deal with, as well as some issues pertaining to completing my master's degree.  I chatted with several friends in the evening, as if there was a conspiracy amongst them to keep me talking, which I so appreciated.  And of course, Epic Mickey demanded some attention--Leah wants to defeat Captain Hook in the worst way, but we are woefully inept gamers.

Those are the facts.  I can't tell you how it felt. The UU had a speaker months ago who said, "If you can put words to something, it loses its truth."  And that's how I feel about all of this.  I write about it, I talk about it, but I can't really put words to all that has happened in any way that gives it meaning for anyone.  I can't say how spending Mike's 40th birthday without him felt. 

I believe the snow was a sign--everyone got a day off due to some cosmic maneuvering on his part and many people celebrated.  Our house was coated in a little blanket from above and we were kept warm and snug.  For once, I didn't mind a snow day.