The Saga of the Dutch Baby

Today's scenario: I decided to make Dutch babies for breakfast (projected recipe time from start making till eating: 20 minutes)...

Leah: I need my stool.
Dot: I don't have a stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool... And my butt burped.
Me: There is a stool in the basement. And make your butt say excuse me.

Get out needed supplies, everything is good.

Me: Ok, Dot, you are going to whisk the first egg.
Leah (In utter hysteria): BUT I WANNA FRIZZLE AN EGG!
Me: You get to frizzle the second egg, which means you get to frizzle both eggs.
Leah (dries tears, perfectly composed): OK

Then disaster:

Me: Oh, we need eggs. We need to run to the grocery store.

Looking around. No one is dressed.

Me: GET DRESSED, EVERYONE!

Dot puts on dress from Saturday. Leah wears God knows what. We reassemble in the kitchen. No shoes. Dot cannot find her shoes. Leah puts on her shoes. Dot decides to wear a Hello Kitty sneaker and a Mary Jane. I decline to take her out like that and send her upstairs to find her shoes. She picks out one red shoe and one brown shoe.

Me: Eff it.

Elapsed time so far 15 minutes.

Drive to Food Lion.

Dot: CIOCI, I WANT DONUTS. CAN I HAVE DONUTS? I REALLY WANT SOME DONUTS. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

Leah: I WANT SPRINKLE DONUTS. ONLY SPRINKLE DONUTS! LET'S GO TO THE DONUT STORE. DONUTS!

Me: Ok, you can get a donut.

Dot grabs a box of Krispy Kremes. A full 12 pack for one kid. Leah freaks out because there are no sprinkle donuts in this store.

Me: Ok, Leah, we will check the bakery in a minute. (Grab nearest dozen eggs I can find, give chase to girls, who are halfway to bakery)

Leah: Nope, no sprinkle donuts. Looks like we're going to the donut store.

Me: We are not going to the donut store. We are making dutch babies.

Leah: BUTIWANNASPRINKLEDONUT.DOTDOTGOTHERDONUTSANDIDIDN'TANDIWANTASPRINKLEDONUTRIGHTNOWORTHEWHOLEDAYWILLBERUINED.

Me: Fine, but we will get you a sprinkle donut at Giant.

Checkout of Food Lion, wrangle both children into the car, drive to Giant. Aren't they re-stocking the damned donuts.

Donut Guy: whistling a merry tune

Me: HALLELUJAH! they have sprinkle donuts!

Buy a sprinkle donut, head home. Get in the house.. (Present elapsed time: 40 minutes)

Dot: We wanna watch SheRa, Cioci, can you put the TV on?

Me (teeth gritted): NO! I am making this Dutch baby. After I finish making it, I will help you out.

Leah: Mama, are you bored waiting for the butter to melt?

ME: No, not really.

Leah: Let's play Chutes and Ladders!!!

Me: OK. As soon as I am done, I will play Chutes and Ladders with you.

Dot: Let's play Jake and the Pirates.

Leah: No, I wanna play Chutes and Ladders.

Dot: let's get out the BounceHouse!

Leah: mamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama, can you get out the bounce house?

Me: OK fine! (Cursing under my breath about permissive parenting, making children happy, this generation)

Get out and set up the bounce house.

Go back to making the Dutch Baby.

A full hour and 10 minutes after we started, did the thing come out of the oven.

Me: You girls want a piece?

Girls: No, we're busy.