The Worst Travel Day Ever!

Yesterday, July 18, 2016, I experienced the worst travel day of my entire life.  It was so epically bad, I have to blog about it.  I know you're all waiting for a blog or ten about our incredible time in Belgium and Western Europe, and that is coming.  I promise.  But I seriously need therapy.  The thing is, I travel A LOT.  And I'm good at it.  I usually have bad luck in terms of flight delays, but never to the level of trouble I had yesterday.  I can say with some authority that I will definitely be thinking twice before traveling on IcelandAir ever again.  But I'm ahead of myself.

So for two weeks, we went to Western Europe, primarily Belgium, to visit our former exchange student, Ine, and her family, and get to know them and their country and culture.  It was an absolutely incredible trip, we saw and did so much.  I don't know how her family crammed all that into a mere two weeks.  It was literally the trip of a lifetime.  Yesterday was departure day.

Now, you may have heard that Europe has been under threat of terrorist attack, and in fact Belgium was attacked in March and France was attacked while we were there.  Tensions are high, which is understandable, and while we hear in the US that there is a flood of Muslim immigrants and refugees coming into Europe, until you are there, you don't really understand how big the situation is.  We saw many, many more Muslims in Europe than I have probably ever seen in my life.  And with extremists attacking, the situation is a bit "delicate".

Ok, so Monday morning, Ine and her mom drop us off at the Brussels Airport, which is back to normal, looks great, you'd never know anything happened there.  To even get into the airport, you have to go through a large tent and in the tent, the soldiers tell you go either to the left or to the right.  If you get sent to the left, you're scot-free, you go right into the airport.  If you get sent to the right, you and your bags go through metal detectors and screening.  As if you're not going to have to do that once you're inside.  But they're taking no chances because the bombing of the Brussels airport took place near the international ticketing, where there are no security measures.  Guess which line Leah and I got sent through?  You guessed it.  The right.  Not only do you have to hoist your suitcase into the X-ray machines (and we had 2 suitcases, each of which weighed 50 pounds), but if you have backpacks with any sort of electronic anything, you have to unpack it.  So my carefully packed backpack had to be completely ripped apart to get the electronics out.

That really set me off.  Because you don't have time to repack everything neatly, so we had to just cram everything back in the bags and proceed.

Once inside, you have to locate where your particular airline has its window.  There are 10 zones in Brussels, and each of those 10 zones has 12 windows.  That's 120 potential ticket windows from which you have to find your particular airline.  That doesn't count the windows along the back wall of the departures area.  We checked a sign and it said IcelandAir was in Zone 9.  We go, and as far as you can see, the area is literally PACKED with primarily Muslim people (or so I'm guessing based on their dress), and all the airlines are Turkish Air, Saudi Air, all Middle Eastern airlines.

And one thing I have learned in the course of my travels in South America and Europe, as well as from hosting students from Asia is that concepts of personal space and good manners vary widely from country and culture to country and culture.  For instance, when Leah and I were riding on the Metro in Paris recently, we were nearing our stop, so we moved to stand in front of the door.  I asked her, "Are you ready? This is our stop" and she said yes.  A young Caucasian man who had been riding next to us and speaking English with a friend (I say this so that you know he spoke English) stepped in front of us into the maybe 6 inches between us and the door, stepped on my foot, and without an "excuse me" or a backwards glance made sure he was the first one out the door.  We were banged into mercilessly while we were in Europe and it finally got to a point where Leah stomped on one person's foot and I refused to correct her--a grown man on the Tube in London literally shoved her out of the way so he could have the one seat on the train before she got to it, men and women constantly banged into us, walked in front of us and stopped, stood way too close to us for comfort in situations where it was most definitely not required (ie NOT on a crowded train but in a museum), it was exhausting.

So to know that we had to go through this massive crowd of people was daunting to say the least, but we HAD to find our ticketing window.  So Leah, me, two huge suitcases, and two backpacks put our heads down and started working our way through.  Our repeated cries of "Excuse me!"  "Excusez-moi!"  "Pardonne!" were totally ignored, and meanwhile we were getting banged into on all sides by Muslim men, women, and children who were packed into Zone 9, so we finally had to skip being polite and just get on in there and do battle.  Only to discover there was no IcelandAir counter in Zone 9.Which meant we had to battle our way back out.  It had been a mere 15 minutes and I was already totally exhausted.

So we found an electronic departures board, and that said that IcelandAir's window would be in Zone 3.  We walked down to Zone 3, and not only wasn't IcelandAir there, there wasn't a single solitary ticket window open in Zone 3.  We started walking up and down all the zones looking for help, but there wasn't an information desk, there were no airport employees to ask for help, nothing.We were on our own.  Finally we decided that we were just going to camp out in Zone 3 and wait for something to happen.  When we had arrived at Dulles 2 weeks prior, IcelandAir's window was closed until 4:45, so we figured it might just open later than when we were there.  Eventually we noticed other people milling around, and finally a young woman came out and flipped up an IcelandAir sign.

And then, as she was the only employee there from IA, proceeded to mess with the TensaBarriers for five minutes to create as intricate a maze as possible for us all to follow, after we had all jumped into the barriers once the window was opened.

Finally she was happy with the arrangement, and we started to move through the line.  Somehow we were in the first 30 families, but I think due to the fact that IA is a lowercost  carrier, there were a ton of backpackers and large families there, and of course, everyone is already exhausted from the effort of finding the window and even getting into the airport, so the pushing began.  I was really losing it.  And the fact that they had exactly one person working was really infuriating.

Fortunately the check in process for us was fairly smooth.  Once it was our turn, it took less than 5 minutes to drop off our bags and get our boarding passes.  Of course, by this point, Leah had to use the bathroom, so off we went to the toilet.

Now in Europe, most public toilets require a fee to enter.  In the airport, thankfully this was not the case.  But the stalls are about 2.5 feet wide and maybe 5 feet deep, and Leah is terrified of using the bathroom alone, so we were crammed into this tiny space with our backpacks.  She went to the bathroom and then it was my turn, and as I went, I discovered, to quote the IT crowd, that I had "fallen to the communists"...  Yes, Aunt Irma had chosen that moment to pay a visit, and I sat there on the toilet and moaned, "OH NO."  Because I had come prepared for this eventuality, but of course, all supplies required were now somewhere between my present location and Reykjavik, and I didn't want Leah to know what was going on, as she doesn't know all these facts of life yet.

I panicked.  Using "We haven't gotten Winston a present yet!" as my cover story, Leah and I shopped in every single store in the Brussels airport, and not a single one had feminine supplies with the exception of the duty free store which was selling a box of Tampax for 10 euros, which I resolutely was NOT going to pay.  There were no coin operated machines in any of the 6 toilets we went into, and I could not find a medical or first aid station to go in and beg supplies at.  I finally had to MacGuyver a solution, which was not only uncomfortable, but I was rather insecure about it, and Leah was going crazy with the sheer number of times I was going into a bathroom.

So we eventually got called for boarding, and onto the plane we went, only to discover we were seated across the aisle from each other, not in seats next to each other.  This really set Leah off completely.  I told her I would ask the people who were sitting with us if they would consider trading seats so we could sit together, but unfortunately, sitting next to her were a father and daughter, and sitting next to me were a pair of brothers, and no one wanted to trade.  So we were stuck.  We held hands across the aisle as much as possible, but for a child with serious separation anxiety, it was hard.

They brought her a meal (adults don't get any kind of food, not even snacks on board IA's international flights), and she ate her sandwich, raisins, and drank her juice and we watched movies (I can't say much for IA, but their inflight entertainment was excellent--I watched Eddie the Eagle on the way over, which I had wanted to see for forever and which I LOVED, and on this particular leg of the journey, I watched Spotlight which I didn't think I'd enjoy but very much did and then started the 11.22.63 series, which was awesome).  I made a quick bathroom stop and looked all through the bathroom for rogue supplies, but there were none, so I made do.  Things were going pretty well.

Then we got to Reykjavik and all holy hell broke loose.

I hadn't been real impressed when we got there on Monday July 4 because IA cuts its connections VERY close, and we initially had only 90 minutes to get to our connection, which thanks to a flight delay was cut to 30 minutes, and very nearly missed it.  IA doesn't pull up to a jetty or gangway attached to the airport's physical building--you have to climb down stairs, then get on a bus and get bused over to the terminal.  Then, because Iceland is a gateway to the EU, we had to go through customs to get into the International Departures area, and they had a guard posted at the one escalator you can go up and she only allowed 20 people at a time to go up the escalator.  Once up there, there were 4 lines to get through customs, and there were literally hundreds of people trying to make connections.  All around us, flights were being closed, and there was nothing we could do.  As we neared the front of the line, the flight to Brussels was announced as boarding, and almost immediately flipped to "Final Call".  We managed to get through customs, although the officer tried to give me some shit about traveling "without the father" ("I'm a widow" shut him down pretty quickly), and I told Leah "RUN!"  We got to the boarding area for our flight with about 30 seconds to spare, then we sat on the bus for 15 minutes with no idea what was going on--did we miss the plane?  Were they holding it for us?  Were other people coming?  Thankfully they were just waiting for any straggling passengers.

Ok, so back to 7/18.  We get to Reykjavik and I'm thinking "This will be a breeze, we have almost 2 hours and we don't have to go through customs this time!"  How wrong I was.  We had to go through customs again.  Why, I have no idea.  But we did.  It was the same rigamarole, but for some reason it went much more quickly and we were through customs in about 15 minutes.  And were immediately dumped into the Duty Free shop, which contained the one toilet in the terminal that I could find and that shop let out into the ONE restaurant in the terminal--a convenience store/bar type mock up where you could buy sandwiches and snacks.  Given that IA refuses to feed you, there were a LOT of hungry people and the line was stretching into the duty free area.  Why?  Because in its wisdom, IA decided to have literally 6 flights that were leaving within 20 minutes of each other all at one section of gates that was approximately 150 feet long and 50 feet wide.  It was total and complete chaos. The cashiers for the shop were set up the dump people into terminal area and each of the 6 flights were to major American cities like DC, Denver, Chicago, Minneapolis, etc.  Here's kind of a drawing I did.

The gate that has a star is the one we were assigned to.

Again, all these flights were scheduled at these 6 gates for within 15 minutes of each other.  They finally opened the doors for the gate next to ours (which was going to Denver) and some of those people went down a small hallway, where they got to stand around and wait.  Our doors opened, and there was no indication that any particular class should come forward, that people with children or disabilities should come forward, nothing, so people went totally NUTS pushing into that area because it was clear a riot was close to erupting in the little hallway inside the terminal.  We got up to the front, our tickets were scanned, and immediately I was told that our tickets "have a seating issue".  I was told "You chose comfort economy but you should be in economy, your seats have been changed."

Now, bear in mind, I chose the seats BEFORE I paid for the tickets, so any mistake in pricing would have been on the part of the computer, NOT on my part.  Also, on our trip between Reykjavik and Brussels two weeks prior, we were in the same seats, and it was not a problem whatsoever.  I was totally furious, but "there's nothing we can do, those seats have been sold to someone else."  NICE, right?

So we get on the stupid bus, get bused to the stupid plane, but of course at this stage, they are running 30 minutes late because of the sheer quantities of people they have, the mass confusion, and the lack of buses,  We find our new seats, and I tell Leah that if no one sits next to us, we will spread out.  Well, immediately, a burly Englishman comes and sits next to me (I was in the middle seat, Leah is in the window seat) and proceeds to manspread across his seat and half of mine.  He literally has his arm over top of mine.  And the instant, THE INSTANT, the plane takes off, the woman in front of me fully reclines her seat, which is now one hand's width away from my nose.  And that was how much room I had for the entire flight.

The crew comes around and they have food for sale. I decide I have some Euros in my pocket that I'm not going to use, I will buy myself some dinner.  I order the curry chicken, hand the lady my $13 Euros and she says they will not accept cash, only credit cards.  My bank charges a foreign transaction fee every time I use it outside the US, so I ask why they can't accept cash and she says they just can't.  I was not willing to pay an extra fee on top of the fee for the food, so I hand her the food back and that was that.

Now, the chap next to me orders two bottles of red wine, a hoagie, and a can of chips.  And he settles in, and Leah has her free meal, and suddenly Leah decides she has to go to the bathroom.  I apologize profusely to Manspread, and he picks up his glass of wine to move, and the stewardess backs into him and dumps his red wine all over his white shirt and jeans.  And he is F***ing FURIOUS.  And so the stewardess is trying to address this, and I'm like "PEOPLE!  WE ARE GOING TO HAVE AN ADDITIONAL MESS ON OUR HANDS HERE UNLESS YOU LET ME OUT"...  And between being hungry, hormonal issues, lack of supplies available, jet lag, getting pushed around by strangers, and having ZERO room on this flight, I am starting to completely and totally lose it.

So they finally get out of the way, and I can tell that I'm going to need to make some adjustments, and Leah is absolutely terrified of the airplane bathrooms in ways she has never been afraid of regular toilets, and it was all coming to a head, when we arrive at the one bathroom that is accessible and discover a 7 year old boy has locked himself in, and is having a blast in there and has no real desire to leave.  So me, Leah, and Manspread are in the aisle, he wants to clean up, she wants to pee but is scared, and I'm afraid of free-bleeding everywhere, and we can't get into the bathroom because of a 7 year old Icelandic terror.  FUN TIMES.

Eventually, we get in, Leah goes, I wait for Manspread to go and clean up, but of course, getting red wine out of a white shirt is going to take more than a well-intentioned can of tonic water, so he comes out of the bathroom wet and absolutely fuming, I go in and discover some "issues" that I do my best to resolve, and we go back to our seats.  I wedge myself into my half seat, Manspread does his thing, and I go back to watching TV.  Then Manspread calls the head stewardess, who apologizes profusely and gives him a claim form to be reimbursed for his shirt, and he lights into her about how he agreed to swap seats so some damned married couple could sit together and he hates small children and he hates the small seats and now his clothes are ruined, and I'm listening to this and just thinking "I'm in hell.  I'm trapped in hell and I cannot move."  And that's when the turbulence starts.  And if you're a nervous flyer like me, you don't handle turbulence well.  So I do the one thing I can do:  I turn on "Police Academy" and hide my tears behind some laughter.

A couple of hours later, Leah needs to use the bathroom again, but Manspread is already up, so it's no big deal.  As we come back, we discover that the second round of complimentary beverage service has come to our area, and the stewardesses are giving everyone a second drink.  They move the cart on our behalf, and then walk off, and did not serve me a second drink!!!  The people in the same row but across the aisle from us got drinks, everyone around us got drinks, but they didn't even ask if I wanted anything!  Good job I'd brought a drink with me!

We arrive in Dulles about 30 minutes late, gather up our stuff (Manspread has left a complete trail of destruction in and around his seat, so I just say "Screw it" to leaving a box of cheez-its and a chip bag under the seat--I was miffed about not getting my drink and just exhausted and off we go to face US Customs.  I know there is a citizen line and a non-citizen line, so I'm thinking "This will be a snap!"  No.  In its infinite wisdom, the US government has decided to further complicate the customs process.  Used to be you'd get in the customs line with your form filled out already, hand it to the officer, answer a few basic questions, and out you go.  Now, you have to go get what's called a 'passport receipt'.  Now, Leah had fallen asleep the last 2 hours of the flight, and was BARELY clinging to consciousness.  For this passport receipt process, you have to scan your passport, answer all the questions that you have to answer on the customs form, and then pose for a picture on the computer, which then prints out said picture and you have to hand that paper to the customs official.  Trying to hold up a half-comatose 7 year old for a picture when the computer can't find her because she is too short and get her to open her eyes for the picture, that is NOT fun.  We get our receipts and then I'm thinking, "Well, maybe this means we don't have to deal with customs because we've answered all the questions."  Oh no, you still have to go talk to the customs officer, who checks your receipt against your passport, and you still have to answer all the same questions you've already answered on the customs form and on the computer for the receipt.  So, in case you're keeping track, that's 3 times we've answered these questions in some way, shape or form.

We get done with that, and we go to baggage claim.  I get a text from my sister that they are in the cell phone waiting area.  earlier in the day, I had sent her an SOS about bringing needed supplies to the airport, so I tell her to park and come in, we should be through the arrival doors literally any minute.  We find our suitcases, I get a baggage cart, pile everything on top, and Leah collapses in a heap.  I move towards the doors to get out, only to discover that there's another layer of customs security.  so I dig back through my bag to pull out all the paperwork, and stand in line for TWENTY MINUTES trying to get to the door, to discover that at the exit, they have two customs officers whose sole job it is to collect the customs receipts from you and make sure that they match your passport.  And because everyone thinks they are done when they leave customs, everyone has put their passports away, and now everyone has to dig them back out, including a group of 30 Chinese exchange students whose passports had been collected by a chaperone who was now frantically trying to dole them back out before the students arrived at the front of the line.  The students, who didn't understand the American way of taking alternating turns (each of the two officers had two lines to process), were trying to just jump through and cut the lines, and the officers were constantly sending them back to the 'starting' line position to await their turn, but they had no idea what was going on.

I had really hoped my sister would be there waiting when we came through the arrival doors, but she was trying to find a place to park and I hadn't texted her in time to get inside, and she also had my niece and nephew with her, so we came out and no one was there to greet us, which made me kind of sad, but eventually we found them and it was all I could do not to just burst into tears.  The kids were screaming "Cioci! Cioci! Did you bring us presents!?" I had the foresight to know they'd be there and want their presents early, so I had put them in my backpack, and gave Dot her little golden Eiffel Tower ("Oh, Cioci!  I just LOVE it!  I have always wanted my own Eiffel Tower!") and William his build your own airplane kit (he was struck dumb), I grabbed my sister's backpack and ran for the bathroom, and then paid the parking and we got the hell out of there.  My sister had in mind that she would mess with Waze to see what was the fastest way home, but it wasn't cooperating and I said, "Take the stupid toll road, just get me the hell out of here." so she did.  We made it home in about an hour, which was amazing, and although she offered to stop and get me something to eat, I decided I was far more exhausted than I was hungry, so I told her to just bring me home.  We got Leah into bed and that was the end of it.  I fell into bed almost immediately and was asleep in minutes, curled up with my kitties who had apparently missed me.

This was by far the worst travel experience I've ever had in my life.  I don't' think it's one of those things I will ever even laugh about down the road.  It was almost traumatizing.  I just tell myself "Hey, I'm home!" and that's going to have to be that.  I hope future trips will be far less stressful...  It's good to be home.

Lots of Happenings!

I start every blog post with "It's been a while", but indeed, it has again been a while.  Life has been CRAZY.  So here's the latest:

1.  Leah starts kindergarten tomorrow.  I'd like to say more about that, but my heart is absolutely breaking into a million little pieces and I can't stop crying about it.  I'm trying to toughen up a bit, but this is going to take some getting used to, to say the least.

2.  I had my gastric sleeve done on August 12.  So far, I've lost 41 pounds.  I'm so proud of that fact, I can't even tell you.  I'm not going to blog about it.  There are plenty of blogs out there that do that.  I don't want to be an educator or an inspirer--if you want to do it, do it.  It is much, much harder than I ever thought it would be, and after it was done, I had a serious bout of buyer's remorse and depression.  But seeing my progress, I do have to say I'm proud of what I've done and I'm glad to keep seeing the numbers go down.  No regrets.  And I haven't had any complications to speak of, which is awesome.  The hardest part is sticking to a firm schedule.  I finally set up 15 separate alarms on my phone so I know when to do what.

3.  We are hosting an exchange student from Belgium!  Her name is Ine.  We are hosting her through AFS USA, my 8th hosting experience with them.  She arrives in the US on September 8th and I think we should be able to pick her up on September10th.  I am flying to London 24 hours later, so I will get to know her when I get back, but she's cool about it.  AFS gets its jollies when host families blog about their exchange experiences, so I'm setting up a blog at ourbelgianstudent.blogspot.com if you want to follow our experience.  Our blog about hosting Penny was a big hit, so I'm hoping that this one will be helpful too.  As a host mom, I love reading blogs from other people who have hosted students from the same country.  It's helpful in so many ways.

4.  I'm back to school as well.  I'm probably already messing up the semester--we started last week and I've had time to check in exactly once.  But hey!  Leah starts school tomorrow (sniffle) and then I can get cracking.  It's going to be a challenging and interesting semester, I can already tell.

5.  I'm going to London.  Next week.  I'm glad I was talked into it.  Even though it's not the greatest time ever for me to go, I'm excited.  Because.  England.  And even though it's 2 months late, I'll be done with my 2 year bucket list.

6.  Our garbage disposal died.  I was glad my father was here to help negotiate the price.  Plumbers are crooks.  I'm sure there are good ones, but the ones we were dealing with were crazy.  So we went to Lowe's and for 1/4 the price, I'm getting a new disposal installed either tomorrow or Wednesday.

7.  Lesley came to visit and we went to Delaware to see the Downton Abbey costume display.  It was incredible.  I hope to go back before it closes.

So I guess that's all the news that's fit to print.  Happy back to school time for everyone and we will see you on my next post!

Vegas, Kids, Tips, Tricks

Probably the number one comment I've heard about our trip has been, "I'd never have thought of taking my kids to Las Vegas!  But now that I've seen your trip, I can see how it would be so fun!"  So I thought some practical advice might be in order in case our trip inspires you to take your kids to Las Vegas.

1.  Make sure you have the right kid or the right parent for the trip.

Leah is super high energy.  The number one thing people said to me while we were wandering through casinos was, "Wow, I wish I had energy like that!"  (I seriously lost count of the number of times people said to that to me every single day.)  Some children are super high energy or have a decent amount of energy.  My niece and nephew, as much as I adore them, are Leah's polar opposite--they're far quieter, more sedate children, and I'm not sure Las Vegas would be their thing.  I can see them at the beach, hanging out and relaxing, enjoying a pool somewhere, but I don't really envision them running all over a city.

That said, your child doesn't need to be super high energy to enjoy all the things we did.  You can certainly have your child in a stroller and wheel them around.  Las Vegas has plenty of calm things--gardens, animal sanctuaries, animatronic shows, and the like that will keep a more passive kid entertained.

Also, I am not a party type, nor am I gambler.  You must be 21 or older to enter the gaming sections of the casinos, and there are special pathways in the carpets in the casinos that kids have to stay on to navigate through.  For us, no big deal.  I didn't so much as breathe on a slot machine while we were there, but if you want to gamble, go to a club, see a late show, etc., you should either bring back up childcare or consider a service while you are there.  There are no babysitting/nanny services formally connected to the casinos, but certainly you can hire them from reputable companies who do advertise while you are there.  If I had wanted to go out clubbing and gambling, I'd have been pretty unhappy stuck in my hotel room.  But I didn't and I was perfectly happy to stay in during the evenings and regain some quiet and inner peace.

2.  There are lots of bargains

When you arrive in Las Vegas, there is no shortage of coupon books available for free.  They give you great discounts on area attractions, restaurants, and shows.  In fact, I would not recommend bothering to buy tickets to anything until you get out there.  Unless it is a show you are absolutely dying to see and there is a danger it will be sold out while you are there, wait until you're there to purchase tickets to attractions or shows.  There are always discounts to be had.  There is even a place called Half Price Tix that has booths all over the city where you can go and get recommendations and cheap tickets for same day entertainment.

And that does not mean you have to talk to the people who are shilling 'free' shows and hotel rooms and the like at every corner.  Ignore those people and keep walking.  There are ALWAYS strings attached.We had some people offer us 3 nights free at the Luxor.  We just had to give them a $175 deposit first, which we were promised would be refunded when we booked our trip.  That's not free.

Secondly, children 4 and under are usually free to the attractions.  Leah got in free to the Eiffel Tower, Shark Reef, Titanic.  She ate free at the buffets we went to.  She got discounted tickets to Madame Tussauds, the gondola ride, and Siegfried and Roy.

There are in-state resident discounts, military discounts, student discounts, senior discounts and more.  Always ask.  I nearly paid full price for the Titanic exhibit, but the cashier offered me a discount with a student ID.  It made me wonder what else I had missed out on getting cheaper.

There are also packages and bundles.  For instance, I could have bundled the Shark Reef, Titanic, and Siegfried and Roy for significant savings; I just didn't honestly think we'd get to all of them.

3.  There is lots of cheap and free transportation.  

I really like the Las Vegas Monorail--it is a cheap and quick way to go north and south on the strip.  You can buy up to a 3 day unlimited ride pass for $28, but grab the Monorail magazine in the station, and there's a coupon for a discount.  Children under 5 ride free, so we didn't pay for Leah at all.  That made it extremely cost effective--particularly in comparison to cabs or renting a car.  There is also a bus that goes up and down the strip that has a similar deal.  The advantage of the bus is no running back and forth through huge casinos to catch it!

Additionally, the hotels sometimes have their own transportation services.  For instance, our hotel, Excalibur, had a free tram between it, the Luxor and Mandalay Bay.  You can get a free shuttle bus to Rio (which is off the strip) from Bally's.  There is also a tram from the Mirage to Treasure Island (FREE) and from the Bellagio to City Center to Monte Carlo (FREE).  Get the picture?  It's so easy to get places and not pay a dime to do it.

4.  There is porn and there are lots of barely dressed women around.

We went out one evening and there were men handing out business cards with naked women on them.  Leah and I quickly developed a code where I told her to "look at the sky" as we passed the areas where people threw those cards on the ground in heaps.  Prostitution is NOT legal in Las Vegas, contrary to popular belief, but there are plenty of strip shows and seedy bars and things that cater to individuals looking for that.  Additionally, when we walked into the Monte Carlo, right smack dab in the front as we walked in was an exotic dancer.  Granted, she was wearing some sort of Ugg-like boots to protect the modesty of her calves, but her ass was hanging out and her chest was barely hanging on to a small bikini.

Women who go to Las Vegas also don't seem to wear much.  We sat in a restaurant at one point and two women walked in.  Leah asked me quite loudly, "Mama, why doesn't that lady have any pants on?"  Damned if I know, kid!  Guys are wandering around in shorts and t-shirts, just looking normal, but women are dressed in as little as possible.  I used a lot of distraction on Leah when we encountered that type of thing.

5.  Those people on the street are always after money, and there are lots of ways people make money off tourists.

There are cartoon characters, showgirls, male strippers, superheros and more crowding the streets of Las Vegas.  They lure young children in, ask the children if they want a picture, and then tell Mom and Dad, "Sorry, no can do without a tip."  We did it once because Leah was utterly bedazzled by a couple of pink showgirls, but after that I was out of cash, and I resolved not to use an ATM while we were there.  Easy access to cash seemed dangerous!!!  After that, I allowed her to go say hi, high five, or hug whatever characters or people she met on the street, but we had a strict no pictures policy.

Additionally, as I mentioned before, there are always people telling you they have something free to give you if you'll just step inside for a minute.  They literally will not take "no thank you" for an answer.  I eventually found it was best to just keep walking as if I hadn't heard them or didn't realize they were talking to me.  They can get quite aggressive, and unless you want to be berated, harrassed, or yelled at, it's better to just keep going.  And no, your child is not a shield from them.  We were bugged for helicopter tours, Grand Canyon adventures, free stays, free money, free limo service, free shows, and more.  It's never free and it's not worth being polite.  Leah was actually scared by one guy who was yelling at us.  Not worth it!

Additionally, we were cautioned by a fellow passenger on the airplane that cabbies often take tourists onto the Freeway to get to their hotels on the Strip.  This allows them to jack up the meter and often tourists don't know any better.  It is patently illegal, and you can let them know that you know as much, and call in their badge number if they don't shut the meter off and get you where you're going.

6.  Be prepared to answer the tough questions.

Not only do you have to answer questions about why ladies don't have any clothes on, but Las Vegas is teeming with homeless people panhandling.  They usually sit on the pedestrian walkways with signs and hope for change or money.  Leah called them "homesick people", which is cute, but we did have a rather somber discussion about why some people don't have food or homes to go to.  Your kid might be willing to hear something sugar coated or might be able to ignore the situation, but due to our circumstances, my kid is pretty savvy to the world's tragedies and wants straight answers.

7.  There are plenty of cheap places to eat!

Every casino/hotel has its own food court in addition to the more upscale restaurants it has within.  Sometimes these are fast food joints like McDonald's and Krispy Kreme, but often you can find good food fast as well.  Excalibur has Tropical Smoothie and Baja Fresh, New York New York had a NYC pizza parlor, MGM Grand has an Underground with quick places to grab a cheap bite, Paris has a creperie, etc.  It's worth walking out of your way a bit to find and enjoy these places--the food can be really good and really cheap. 

8.  There are lots of shows that are kid friendly.

I went to Half Price Tix one day to see if we could get cheap tickets to something on Sunday night, as it was the only night I didn't have a special show planned.  A man came over and asked if he could help us, I told him I was looking for something kid friendly, he asked how old Leah was, and when I said 4, he said, "Well, that eliminates pretty much everything."

But I don't think that's true.  First of all, there are about 6 different Cirque du Soleil shows, any of which would have been appropriate.  We saw Blue Man Group, which Leah loved, and David Copperfield, which she also loved.  Excalibur has a Medieval Times type dinner theater, the Luxor has a show called Jabbawockeez that looked kid friendly, there are variety shows, concerts, and more.  Just because you can't go to a burlesque show doesn't mean all of Las Vegas entertainment is off limits.  It just means you can't go to the burlesque shows.

9.  Take time to rest.

This is my final tip.  Leah and I were really hard charging on this trip, the result of which was that by the end of day 2, we were both sore and by the end of day 3, neither one of us could move very well.  We came back to the hotel mid-day each day to rest, but we still really did a LOT and we were exhausted.  The climate is radically different there from the East Coast--we were very, very dry and had to make an effort to drink, despite which I still suffered from nosebleeds daily.  Make sure you get out of the sun.  You can't possibly see all there is to see, so don't try.  Take time to relax and enjoy and have a little downtime each day.  Bring a stroller--Leah passed out cold on the way home from Blue Man Group.  She was just exhausted.  Even though she has long outgrown a stroller, having it saved me from having to carry her three casinos' worth back to our room.

Many people have said, "Well, I'm sure you had fun, but what did Leah think?"  Well, I'd say this picture says it all:

Las Vegas can be wonderful with children.  Just a little bit of pre-planning, and you can have a great family vacation with your kids for pretty inexpensively.  Enjoy!  Feel free to leave a comment or email me if you want to know more or have any questions.  I'll update this post if needed.

Vegas Day 3

Day Three in Las Vegas dawned and I was pretty tired and sore.  It became clear that Leah was kind of over it too.  We probably could have gone home after 2 days, but we had one more day to go.  So I decided we would try to stick close to the hotel and keep things light and easy.  I looked through the list I had prepared before we left and it was done except for one thing: the Siegfried and Roy Secret Garden and Dolphin Sanctuary.  But that was way down at the Mirage and I was just not that worried about it, really. 

I couldn't get a straight answer out of Leah about what she wanted for breakfast, so we decided to take our initial trip to a buffet.  Excalibur and the Luxor have a mutual agreement--if you pay $35, you can eat all day at either one of their buffets.  I decided to do that.  When I got there, Leah was free!  So for the two of us to eat as much as we wanted all day was very, very inexpensive.  I was happy she was free because for breakfast all she wanted was watermelon.  Crazy kid!  But I had a nice breakfast of oatmeal and fruit and a croissant, and couldn't really complain.  They had a huge variety of things, including breakfast burritos and an omelet station, pancakes and french toast, waffles, you name it.

Afterwards, we went up to our room.  Leah was very attached to being in there, and so we sat and I asked her if she wanted to do anything special.  She said no.  So I looked through a magazine and she caught sight of an ad for the Bodies exhibit.  She said she wanted to go see that.  Well A) I had no interest in going to see it and B) I thought it might be too scary or intense for her.  So I suggested that we go see the Titanic exhibit instead.

Big. Big. Mistake.

Leah was completely and utterly devastated by the story of the Titanic.  She could not get over that people died, that the ship sank.  She was just so upset.  She demanded to see videos of how the boat sank, and then she just got so worked up over it, I felt awful.  Poor kid.  Plus, when you enter, they give you a 'boarding pass' with the story of a passenger onboard the ship and at the end, you find out if your passenger lived or died.  One of our passengers died and one lived.  This did NOT sit well.  Not at all.  I was half tempted to take her to the Bodies exhibit just to calm her down, but then I thought this would just add fuel to the flames.  But even last night when we went to dinner with her little pal Anna and her parents, Leah was telling them all about how the iceberg ripped the ship up and the ship sank and everyone died.  It certainly made an impression.

So we were at the Luxor for that exhibit, and I decided we would try their buffet for lunch.  It was fine food--I was particularly crazy about their Mediterranean bar with couscous salad and hummus, which were both awesome.  The rest of the food was standard buffet fare, but there was plenty and much of it was fresh and good.  They had a nice little dessert bar and we got some wee little desserts.  Leah was kind of mad I didn't let her keep the cups. But oh well!  We already had swizzle sticks to bring home from David Copperfield.  There was nothing remarkable about these cups other than they were "cute".

We strolled around the Luxor a bit to have a look-see, and I have to say, it's a pretty impressive area.  All the casinos are beautiful, I mean, you really can't believe they are built for just getting people to gamble and give up their money, but that's really the extent of it.  It's like Disney World for grown ups... 

So we finished up at the Luxor and headed back to Excalibur (going over we took a moving walkway system between the Luxor and Excalibur--MUCH faster than the tram system.  Coming back, we took the tram, which is probably faster than the moving walkway).  Leah wanted to do something else, so I asked her if she wanted to go see the tigers and lions and dolphins.  She thought that sounded fun, so even though we were tired and it was way the heck up The Strip, we hitched up our suspenders and headed north.  We did take the monorail, as I was too tired to walk that far, and it was a nice ride.  We got out and had no trouble finding the place, even though, predictably, it was way in the back of the casino like all the other attractions we'd been to.

In hindsight, although Leah was free to the Shark Reef, Titanic, and Siegfried and Roy, for myself it would have been cheaper to buy the 3 for $57 pass they sold to those attractions.  I did get to use my student ID at the Titanic Exhibit--the woman working the desk there absolutely could NOT have been nicer, so I got a slight discount, but I do think it would have been cheaper to package them, nonetheless. 

So anyway, the main attraction there is the dolphin sanctuary.  They have 3 pool areas with various dolphins and the dolphins work with trainers.  There seems to be a little 'show' every 15 minutes or so.  The dolphins do flips, play with a ball, standard marine animal show fare.  But Leah enjoyed it and I got to test out my quick shutter on the camera and got great pictures of the dolphins flipping around.

After seeing the show a couple of times, we went into the Secret Garden area.  It was a warm day and most of the cats were asleep.  We saw white lions and white tigers, as well as a couple of leopards.  Only one tiger was up and moving, everyone else was fast asleep. 

It's hard to get decent pictures through the fence--I really need to learn some focusing techniques with this thing because autofocus just wanted to focus on the chain link and I really had to mess with it.

So it was much smaller than I thought and not really all that exciting, but Leah enjoyed seeing the animals.  It is nowhere near even the size of the smallest zoo I've ever been to, so I can't say anything that it's necessarily worth the cost of admission for a family, but for the two of us it was a passable way to spend a couple of hours.  The staff was very friendly--Leah had a question about how deep the dolphin pools were and they were only too happy to chat with her.  (answer: 20 feet)  We enjoyed a bit of juice and water overlooking the pools to end our visit and then wandered out.

We wound up walking back to the Bellagio--I wanted to see the gardens in the conservatory there.  But nearly as soon as we got there, Leah wanted to leave, so we didn't go see them.  As we were going out, the fountain show started, and it was the first time I'd ever gotten to see it, so I stopped on the footbridge to get a look.  I put Leah up on my shoulders, and almost immediately she was screaming she had to go potty.  (SIGH)  So we went to the bathroom and I've now seen about 30 seconds of the fountain show.

So after that, we got on the Monorail and headed back to Excalibur.  I was so tired I just collapsed on the bed after dinner and decided to set the alarm early and pack in the morning.  Apparently my body was still refusing to give up East Coast time because I woke up at 4:45, not to sleep again.  But I was actually fine with that.  We packed up all our stuff, grabbed a quick breakfast, checked out, and headed to the airport on our little shuttle again, which picked us up promptly at 8AM.  Leah had a great time playing on this giant turtle in the airport, and an older lady was looking at the turtle, which Leah took as an invitation to chat and gab her ear off for about 10 minutes.  The woman, whoever she is, now knows that Leah has a cousin named Chunk and that her daddy died.

After that lady wandered off, we went down to the gate area.  There was a recharging station, and I wanted to plug in my phone and as we sat there, a few people from Virginia filtered in.  We were all nervous about the weather--several of us were flying in to Richmond and others Charlottesville.  Everyone was making phone calls and swapping weather reports.  I was worried about turbulence.  I don't exactly like flying--I just view it as a necessary evil.  So I was NOT looking forward to these flights home.  Plus, I wasn't sure if my driveway would be covered in snow, if I'd have to shovel at 11 o'clock at night, what was waiting.  On the plus side, Leah's school was closed for the day, so she didn't miss anything!

So another woman came over and sat down next to Leah and Leah just decided this woman was her best friend EVER.  They made princesses together on Leah's various apps, and Leah commanded the woman, "Make them stylish!" and the woman obliged.  She had been in Las Vegas for a friend's birthday party and said she missed her kids a lot, so she was happy to keep Leah entertained, for which I was very grateful.

Around about 11AM, I thought we should make a potty run, so we did and then I thought "Oh, it's close to boarding time, isn't it?" being that our flight left at 11:20.  So we went to the gate to find most of the plane had already boarded.  Ooops.  So they needed people to check their suitcases again, which I happily did, as well as checking the stroller, and we just kind wandered on and sat down.  There was no standing around or waiting in line, they were all kind of waiting on us, which I found quite funny.

The flight back to Charlotte was OK.  Leah was hungry and again I bought her a meal.  There was mild turbulence, but nothing terrifying.  The flight to Richmond, on the other hand, was another matter.  They canceled the beverage service, and I prayed so hard.  I mean, I have long given up praying, but I was so scared, I was sure the plane was going down.  It seemed to be moving way too quickly, there was a lot of noise like you would expect if it was moving quickly, and furthermore, there was just tons of turbulence.  When it landed, I was so grateful.  I can't even tell you.  We got our bag no problem, hopped in the car, and within about 20 seconds, Leah was sound asleep.  We made it home and happily everything had melted . I picked Leah up, put her to bed, and I fell asleep in about 20 seconds myself.

It was a great trip, probably one day too long, and got the Vegas bug out of my blood.  I would be OK if we never went back, although it was fun enough that I could go again and still enjoy it.  I will do a little write up of tips and tricks for you all in a day or two...  Thanks for reading if you've gone through all these days!

Las Vegas: Day 2

Las Vegas Day 2 dawned much later--6AM this time--and for that I was grateful!  I was tired after the previous day's excursion and a bit sore.  We've been playing a lot of Wii this winter and sitting on our butts, so this was like going 0-60 in a nanosecond.

Still, Leah woke up with a great deal of vim and vigor, so after a quick breakfast at McDonald's, we decided to walk over to the M&M Store, which was just across the street from our hotel at the base of the MGM Grand.  It opened at 9, which was the earliest thing on my list, so after puttering about the room for a while, we headed over there.  They had just opened and were pretty empty.  Green came outside and a woman offered to take our picture, for free, using my phone, so I actually got one picture of me and Leah together, which was great.  The M&M store is pretty much what you'd expect.  Lots of stuff with M&Ms all over it.  My favorite was a $3,000 lambskin bedazzled-with-Swarovski-crystals M&M jacket.  But they had office supplies, dishes and cups, candy dispensers, clothes, towels, etc. and they even had an on-site printing area so that if you wanted to, you could have M&ms custom printed while you wait.  With the wedding industry in Vegas, that probably does a bang-up business.

After there, we just started walking.  We were accosted by a really rude guy at the Chamber of Commerce who literally screamed at me as I walked away down the street.  "I HATE NOT GIVING AWAY FREE MONEY, LADY."  Yeah right.  I'm sure if I had gone in, they'd have wanted my name, address, credit card, email, phone number, blood type, and everything else, and at best I'd have walked away with a book of coupons totaling the $75 he was promising was free. He made himself look stupid, after I politely declined no fewer than 4 times.As I said to a friend afterwards, "I may have sucker written all over my forehead, but I've got East Coast Bitch written into my DNA."

My plan for the day was pretty simple--head to the Venetian to go to Madame Tussaud's and in the afternoon, our second show, David Copperfield.  We walked all the way to the Venetian.  It was a beautiful day and I just wanted to be outside in the sunshine.  Leah was kind of pissed about it, whining incessantly that she was tired or hungry, but when I got her a snack, she wouldn't eat.  She just wanted to be in the stroller, but I had refused to bring it given that she had so much energy.  She somehow miraculously regained her strength and energy when we arrived at Madame Tussaud's.  The best thing I did on this trip was to keep my iPhone well charged, turn on the camera, and let Leah snap pictures as much as she pleased.  She had an absolute blast running around taking photos, making me pose for a change and although I deleted most of them, as they were blurry, it did keep her engaged and happy for a long time.  Her favorite display was Tiger Woods and Arnold Palmer, mainly because she discovered that if she dropped a golf ball in the hole on the green, it would cause loud cheers to come forth.  She must have done that several million times and then bowed.  It was quite adorable and many passersby commented on it.

She also took a particular shine to Will Smith and Beyonce.  Of course, I only had eyes for Clooney.

After we left the exhibit, I thought it would be nice to show her the canal inside the Venetian.  She only needed to catch sight of one gondola before it was clear we were going to ride on the canal ourselves.  I told her to follow the canal to the end and we found the ticket booth and got tickets.  She was very excited, especially when we got to skip ahead to the front of the line because we had to share with two other people.  Our gondolier, Caj, was a nice man who sang a lot.  He was Sicilian.  He sang some children's songs in addition to the music he thought the adults would like to hear.  It was a short ride, only about 10 minutes, but again, Leah was free, so I didn't mind.  They took lots of pictures of us for cash, but I elected not to buy any or even look at them for that matter.  I'm sure they were quite nice.  I'm sure they were also quite expensive.  Leah announced when she saw the white wedding gondola that either I am getting married there or she is because we are riding in that white boat, damnit!

After the gondola ride, we walked back out and saw a crowd of people around a store at the Venetian.  It turned out Joe Montana was doing a signing that day, so I grabbed a quick picture of him.  Not that I much care about football or Joe Montana, but at least I'd heard of him and I knew several people who would be interested.

By now, it was lunchtime.  I asked Leah what she wanted for lunch and she said she wanted spaghetti.  I had seen a lot of advertising at Excalibur for Buca di Beppo and thought it would be great to go there and then rest for a bit before the show.  They were hot on selling their giant meatballs (1/2 a pound!) and so Leah and I split a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, which was delicious, I have to say!  Then we ordered a chocolate volcano for dessert and while we were waiting, they came around and took our picture "for free".  We were given a picture that was the size of a postage stamp, literally, and then offered larger 'suitable for framing' prints at a price, which I declined.  There was a wedding a couple of tables over, and Leah happily watched the bride and groom and enjoyed herself till our dessert arrived--and that dessert was AMAZING.  This was easily the most expensive meal we ate while we were in Las Vegas, and I don't mind saying, it was worth every single penny.

We returned to our room to relax a bit before heading over to MGM to see David Copperfield.  We went early to get our tickets and they let us in early.  There was a strict policy against taking pictures, so we just sat there and drank Shirley Temples and posed for more pictures.  I started to feel like the paparazzi was after us!

The show was great... Leah was so impressed by the fact that cars and motorcycles and stuff appeared out of thin air.  I remember growing up and watching DC's specials on TV as a family--they were a highlight of the year, really.  He came to Syracuse NY one time and I was on a campaign to get my parents to take us to see him, but they didn't, so this was really a dream come true to go see him do a show.  In general, I thought his demeanor was a little off putting, honestly.  He was on the edge of being hostile or bored, a bit of a show off without showmanship, and in general he didn't seem very fun, happy, or nice.  It was disappointing, but the magic was great.  He did a wonderful bit at the end which even involved emailing those present a "poster from the future" (see right), and was a lovely tribute to his dad, and I cried so hard, I'm not ashamed to say so.  He did a couple things which involved the entire audience.  And at the end, he made 12 members of the audience disappear from the stage and reappear at the back of the theater, and I still don't know how he managed to do that.

As we left, Leah said, "Mama, I think I'm pretty tired now", so we just went back to the room and put on the TV.  She happened upon Rocky II of all damned things, and she became completely enthralled with Sylvester Stallone.  After Rock whooped up on Apollo, I made her shut it off and she was asleep in seconds.  The kid likes the damnedest things, seriously... I followed her to dreamland shortly thereafter!

Weekend in Vegas: Day 1

So this has been a really, really hard winter.  The weather hasn't been THAT awful until the 2014 part of this winter, when we've had some fairly decent snow by Virginia standards.  The threats of bad weather have been enough to shut school down, Leah hasn't been in a decent routine in ages, I've been busy trying to get my ducks in a row for summer, and school started again.  It's been exhausting and overwhelming.  The more I try to settle down and clear my calendar, the more things seem to come up.  For instance, the pre-school Valentine's Day party got canceled on account of snow, pushing it to a day where I already had 3 other things going on, none of which were able to be canceled, because they'd been put off long enough.  It's just been that kind of year.  There are times in my life when it's very quiet and sedate.  This just isn't one of them.

But I have come to realize that a lot of the busy-ness has been a coping mechanism for not having to deal with Mike's death.  So I've been forcing myself to sit down with some of those feelings and let them out.  Between that and the crap going on with my family, as well as some health issues, it's just been a very, very trying winter.  So I knew even though it was a coping mechanism yet again, it was time to get out of Dodge for a while.  I had two criteria: warm and cheap.  So it was that I decided on Las Vegas, and happily I was able to get a great deal on flights and a hotel for me and Leah.

Mike and I went to Las Vegas for our 5th wedding anniversary.  I was so, so, so excited for that trip, I remember typing out a huge itinerary, having it planned to the Nth degree without having any real knowledge of how big those casinos were, and what guiding Mike through that craziness would actually be about.  We booked a couple of tours as well as 2 concerts, so when all was said and done, I hadn't seen much of the Strip itself.  I always wanted to go back, but Mike didn't like it there all that much and had no desire to go.  So even though I've had it in my blood to do it, I haven't had the opportunity.  Till now.

Friday turned out to be a teacher work day at Leah's school and so I booked us to leave Thursday afternoon.  Richmond Airport is the greatest airport in the world.  We got there only an hour before our flight left, but we were at the gate within minutes and had plenty of time to spare.  Leah was excited about the trip--I had let her choose the hotel and she chose Excalibur because she wanted to live in a castle like a princess.  Our flights were uneventful, although we did fly over the Hoover Dam on our way out there, which was pretty awesome.  I was glad to be on that side of the plane--my luck is usually just the opposite!!!  I have now walked across it, ridden across it, and launched from a boat at the base of it, as well as flown over it.  I don't think I can do much more other than slide down it at this point.

I do have to say that American Airlines/USAir's merge isn't doing much for the consumer.  On a 5 hour flight, you get nothing other than 2 beverages--if you want anything to eat, you have to pay for it.  Not even a lousy sack of pretzels.  I didn't know this going into it, and being that we were on East Coast time and well past supper, Leah was hungry and getting worked up, so I did have to buy her a meal.  Additionally, for some reason, their system had Leah sitting elsewhere in the plane than me, so I had to change our seats.  I couldn't imagine that!  I had even requested seats together when I made the reservations.  On the plus side, they called for volunteers to check their carry on bags, so I happily did that so I only had to contend with the stroller and my backpack between planes.

Getting off in Las Vegas, it was a snap to get transportation to the hotel--we used Showtime Tours and got a round trip voucher to Excalibur and back, for 2, for $27.  A guy on the plane warned us that cab drivers often give you the roundabout to jack up their fares, and I can see why given that the airport is quite close to the Strip, so they probably don't make much money off airport fares.  Still, I was happy with the shuttle and it got us to the hotel in good time.

Once we made it to Excalibur, we definitely were in for a hike to find the registration desk.  Then we had another hike to go to our room.  Leah was thrilled with our view, as we did overlook the castle and had  a lovely glimpse of The Strip.  And then as soon as we did that, Leah was hungry and wanted dinner, so it was another hike to find dinner.  By the time we ate and got back, it was after 10 East Coast time, but only 7 Las Vegas time.  I wanted to stay up for a while, but honestly I was exhausted.  So we both crashed on East Coast time, and woke up at 4AM Nevada time, and that was definitely NOT cool.  Trying to keep Leah QUIET in a hotel for 3 or 4 hours till we could reasonably get up and go get breakfast and start our day at 9:00 when things got moving was quite a chore.  The only thing to do in Vegas at that hour is gamble and she's not permitted to do so, nor am I permitted to let her watch while I do so.  We tried the TV, but there was nothing kid-friendly on, and the internet access in the room was wired only so I couldn't hook up my iPad and let her watch Netflix.  It was intensely frustrating.

Finally around 6:30, we went to breakfast--Krispy Kreme and Starbucks.  I had made a list of "must do" activities that we had paid for tickets for, and then a list of 'suggested' activities that we COULD do if we had the time and inclination.  By 8AM, Leah was ready for action, so we struck out in search of adventure.  I knew about the tram that ran from MGM Grand (across the street from Excalibur) all the way up to the north end of the Strip near Circus Circus, and so I decided we should do that until we got our bearings.  First we got to cross the pedestrian bridge to New York New York, which Leah was thrilled with, given her present obsession with New York City.  She REALLY wanted to ride the roller coaster that threads through the facade, but I am not a roller coaster person by any stretch of the imagination, so my answer to that was "Hell no."  Still, she was happy to see a fake NYC, but got reassurances that we would still go see the real one sometime.

After that, we walked through MGM Grand and found the Pearls of Hawaii stand.  They are in all the casinos, but this was the first one we saw.  As you know, when I buy a souvenir of a place, I cross the following possibilities off my list:  T-shirts, stuffed animals, mugs, shot glasses, keychains, spoons, and other 'crap' as defined by 'stuff you can buy at the airport'.  So Leah was really taken with the idea of choosing an oyster to open and for 14.95, it seemed quite the bargain.  So I agreed she could do it.  She picked an oyster and she and Miss Isabelle did a little opening ceremony to convince the oyster to die with dignity.  She got a beautiful little pearl, and I agreed that she could have a charm and a necklace to put it on if that was going to be her Las Vegas souvenir.  So she said yes, that was what she wanted.  And as we were being rung up, SURPRISE!  We had spent enough money that we got to open a second oyster!  (Translation, we hope that if we give you one, you'll buy even more stuff!)  So Leah opened a second oyster and got a second pearl.  We were told the first one was green and the second one was pink, but honestly I couldn't see much difference in the color of them.  Still, I managed to get through the hard sales pitch and just put my pearl in a baggie and off we went.  Leah LOVED her necklace, although she has already forgotten about it, so I'll put it away for her for a special occasion like her prom or her wedding or something like that.

By then we were finally near the monorail and hopped aboard.  We only went 1 stop--down to Bally's/Paris because I decided that since Leah's other favorite city is Paris, we should see both.  We went on in and I decided that since it was just opening, it would be a good time to go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower and see the Strip from up there, which is what we did.  The other thing with Las Vegas is that they take your picture nearly constantly when you are about to do things, so this marked the start of a massive pile of picture taking--none of which I bought because the mark up is HUGE.

The view was gorgeous, you could see out to the mountains, past the city limits.  It was great.  It was early and there were only 2 other people up there. But Leah said it was too cold, so we left after about 10 minutes up there.  Oh well!  Next we walked over to Caesar's Palace, as I thought it would be fun to see the living statues and there's some sort of battle on the hour every hour, but Leah thought it would be way more fun to pretend we were being chased by lava through the casino, so we just ran around screaming "Look out behind you, there's lava coming!"

By now it was lunchtime Nevada-time, and we were hungry and tired, so we took the monorail back to MGM and went to the Rainforest Cafe.  I was kind of pissed off because of the whole entire restaurant, they sat us on the very perimeter away from the majority of the animatronic animals--and I was like "Hello, I have a 4 year old here, this should be your core audience for being on the inside!"  So we spent lunch watching people come in and out the doors of the casino.  Yay. 

Afterwards, we went back to our room for a couple of hours.  It was only 1 o'clock, but we'd already been up and moving for quite a while and I was tired.  After a while, Leah got bored of the iPad and wanted to do something.  I had seen a free tram between Excalibur and Mandalay Bay and I knew there was a shark/aquarium attraction over there, so I suggested we go do that, and Leah thought it sounded like a great idea.  Again we hiked through Excalibur, took the relatively short tram ride, and then hiked all the way through Mandalay Bay to get to the shark reef.  One thing about casinos, besides the sheer size, is that you read the signs and head in a general direction, and you're positive you're going to get lost, but somehow you never do.  You can be walking 3 or 4 minutes without seeing a sign that you're on the right track, but you still wind up at your destination.  It's very odd, but nice.  We didn't get lost once.

Anyway, I was happy Leah was free because there wasn't a whole lot to see at this Shark Reef.  And Leah also, it turns out, doesn't have a whole heck of a lot of patience for waiting in line, and there was a family of 8 in front of us and they were sign readers.  And animal observers.  The attraction itself is beautiful to see, but if I'm being honest, I didn't notice too many sharks or very much reef.  There were a couple of underwater tunnels we could walk through, and there was a small touch tank with sting rays and horseshoe crabs, but unfortunately it was fairly deep and the wall around it quite tall, so Leah had a hard time touching anything.  She finally got a finger on a sting ray, and that made her giggle.  But kind of a bust.  It was good entertainment in a pinch, but nothing to necessarily write home about.

By now it was dinner time, and so we grabbed a quick bite, went up to the room to get the stroller because I knew it was going to be a late night and I didn't want to be carrying Leah home, and headed to the Monte Carlo to see Blue Man Group.  I've wanted to see them for quite a while, as I love shows like that--Stomp has always been a favorite and I've seen it a few times.  I knew that most of the shows on The Strip appeal to a more 'adult' audience, but BMG seemed like it would be great for Leah.  She was super intrigued by the blue faces.  As we were watching the show, the Blue Men went out into the audience and as the cameras panned and followed them around, I caught sight of Kody and Christine Brown, of Sister Wives fame.  And just as I thought, "Holy crap, that's Kody Brown!" the woman behind me said, "Oh my God, that's the guy from Sister Wives!" and the place erupted as everyone recognized them.  I felt a little bit bad for the Blue Men, but they put on such a show that it was quickly forgotten.  At the end, as we were coming up the aisle, I noticed a lot of people stopping to tell the Browns good luck, how much they loved the show, yadda yadda, so I got in line to do that too and before I knew it, it was just us and them in the auditorium.  So I started blabbering like an idiot and finally I asked if I could get a picture of them with Leah.  They hesitated but Kody said "Sure, why not?" I think if there had been other people around they would have declined, but it was awesome that we had the timing right.  An usher offered to get all of us, so there we are!  They got down with Leah and Christine asked her some questions and Leah talked to them like no one's business.  And then I thanked them and we left.  When we got out the door, a Blue Man walked right up to us and got right down with Leah, and Leah FREAKED.  I asked her if I could take a picture of her and the Blue Man and she was all, "HELL NO!"  So I said I would get in the picture with her, and she agreed to do it only if I held her, so I picked her up, gave the phone to another usher, who happily took a picture while the Blue Man eyed Leah, who gamely smiled.

By then it was most definitely bedtime.  I strapped Leah in her stroller and headed out.  Monte Carlo was only just past New York New York, so I walked it.  By the time I'd gone about 15 feet, Leah was snoring her head off.  She had collected a pile of streamers from the show (and I am not allowed to part with One. Single. Inch.), and she clutched them and fell asleep.

I was very fortunate that everyone in Las Vegas was so kind--people got elevators for us, opened doors, etc.  When we finally got to our room, I put Leah to bed, and then I just absolutely collapsed.  It was an amazing day, very, very full, and I knew we would both sleep well that night.  And I was right.  We didn't wake up till nearly 6AM.

An Evening and a Love Affair with Barenaked Ladies

I am friends with music people.  Serious music people.  People who know all kinds of obscure tunes, who post YouTube videos of old music shows and videos I've never heard of.  I have several friends who are DJ's, many who think the best thing to do with their weekends is to go to a show or a festival or a record store.  I admire them all.  I admire their passion for music.  I have discovered a lot of new music through them.  But by and large, to me, music is just more noise in my environment.  I really don't listen to ANYTHING, given much of a chance.  It is the introvert's curse.  I last really paid attention to music in the late 90's, when Savage Garden was still together, Rob Thomas was not yet taking it solo but just chillin' with Matchbox 20, when Train had 1 little hit and called it a day.  About 4 years ago, when we had teenagers in the house, I had no choice but to brush up on more current music, and rediscovered Train, in addition to some other music that I have to say is not half bad, even if it's the most commercial pop available.  I have fond memories of listening to Kelly Clarkson and Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift and Cee Lo Green with Penny.  But by and large, when I left my teens behind, I more or less said Adios! to music beyond what I already liked.  I've kept up with my favorites however, and none more so than my all time favorite band, Barenaked Ladies.

I discovered them in the late 90's when I was working at summer camp after college and, like everyone else, we are all singing If I Had a Million Dollars.  The CD didn't belong to me, it was the camp director's, so I didn't really listen to it all that much as she had other things she wanted to hear.  If I had to fault myself for something musically, it's that when I hear a song I like, I never really go on and listen to anything else the artist does beyond their big hits.  I know exactly one Gotye song.  I know maybe 3 or 4 Lady Gaga songs, yadda yadda.  So I just didn't much bother listening to anything by BNL until a few years later when my sister brought home their "All Their Greatest Hits1991-2001" CD.  And I was totally hooked.  There wasn't a single song on there I didn't love.  If I'm being honest, I think I even stole the CD.

Still, it took a while until I got to see them in concert for the first time.  With the release of Barenaked Ladies Are Me in 2006, they went on tour and came to the Patriot Center in Fairfax, Virginia.  My friend Heather got tickets and 4 of us went, including my sister, and it was my first time seeing BNL in concert.  Steven Page was still with the band and it was magical.  Hearing the songs live, singing them with friends, it all had so much more meaning and just took things to a new level.  We sang for days after that concert.  It was awesome.

In 2011, they came to Celebrate Virginia Live here in Fredericksburg, and I got tickets to that show for me, my sister, Heather, and our new exchange student, Kristin.  Kristin was not terribly impressed, a modern teenager through and through, but for the other three of us it was incredible.  We got "gold level" seating, which at CVL means you can pay to enter into preferred seating and sit anywhere (it cost all of $25!  What a bargain!).  We got second or third row seats, dead center, and it was amazing.  Steven Page had left the band by then and we were all wondering what it would be like without him.  But my friend Emily summed it up succinctly, "Didn't need him."  Although that's probably a bit blunt, and there are times that I do miss his voice on their albums, I have to say, BNL has managed to forge ahead without him as a very strong musical force.

So fast forward to 2013, my life has changed dramatically, and I am really trying to figure some shit out while mainly acting like Brian Wilson (without the drugs and alcohol), and up pops Grinning Streak.  And there seemed to be a lot of songs on the album that spoke to me in the midst of my predicament.  I really took the time to listen to it on my own, and ignored what my friends were saying for the first little bit, formed my own preferences for my favorite songs.  Grinning Streak just came along at the right moment for me.  It was the right album at the right time.

With it came the announcement of the Last Summer on Earth tour.  Initially I didn't see much about DC on there--BNL was going to Columbia, MD (I didn't want to go up there) and then they were going to Virginia Beach, but it was as part of a music festival and I didn't very much feel like doing that either.  So I invited myself to Chicago to see them and in July that's precisely what I did.  It was a significant event in that it was just before the anniversary or Mike's death and the album was really helping me cope with that, but it was also part of re-connecting with Kyle, and he is a music guy, so it was fun to go to the concert with him.  The fans there were awesome--I sat next to a guy for whom this was his 10th BNL concert in a very short amount of time, and every time BNL strummed an opening chord, this guy would throw his arms in the air and scream, no matter what song was playing.  He was really, really nice.  Despite the fact that my feet hurt and it was hot and I didn't especially want to sing and make an idiot of myself in front of Kyle, I just had a blast at that concert.  It was such a great atmosphere (seriously, the midwest is awesome), such a great show, such great music, such great company.  It had been long enough that I hadn't seen BNL in concert that I kind of rediscovered how awesome they were.  They had a British comedian, Boothby Graffoe, open for them, as well as Ben Folds, and that was great.  There was just nothing bad about it.

I got home and I lived off that high for a month or two.  Then I looked at the tour again and discovered Washington DC was added in November.  I called my sister up and asked her if she wanted to go, which of course she did, so I got us tickets and within 3 or 4 days, we were going to see them in DC.  It was one of those serendipitous moments when I happened to catch the tour on time and whatnot, and I started to kind of get into the cult of BNL.  We had dinner at a restaurant across the street from the theater and it was packed to the rafters with BNL fans.  There was one man, maybe 10-15 years older than me, who was really freaking out because the service was slow and he didn't want to miss the show, and we got talking and just really a nice guy despite being a little high strung.  But you kind of find these fellow fans and it all kind of clicks.  I am finding it pretty rare now when I talk to someone for whom it's their first time at a BNL show.  And you listen to people's stories and what the music means to them, and the shows, and it's just incredible.

So that show was great, we called my friend Melissa  in the middle of it because she is a diehard "Odds Are" fan and when they played that song, we recorded it into her voice mail, which made her happy.  And I really thought that would be the end of it.  Somewhere in this time, I started following BNL on Twitter, and although I really, really, REALLY wanted to go over to the UK for their tour there, I didn't.  And then they announced their Canadian tour 2014.  I looked over the list of where they were going to be and spied Kingston.  And it occurred to me that Kingston is not too, too far away from my dad's house.  So I called my dad and said, "Dad!!!  Are you busy the last week in January?  And can we go to Kingston?" and his answer was no and yes respectively, so I told him I wanted to go to the BNL show and he was kind of iffy about it but said he'd go.  They had VIP packages available, so I snapped them up for him, me, Leah, and his girlfriend.  Last week was The Day.  I was so, so so excited.  I had a hard time deciding what I wanted to bring to have autographed, I had a hard time deciding what I wanted to wear, what I wanted to say, how it was going to go...  And I started to pray that no one would wear black.

Because, you see, last summer, we also went backstage to meet Train, my second favorite band, and Leah FREAKED OUT because they were wearing black and she is apparently terrified of people wearing black.  So that was money down the drain!  She climbed up and wrapped herself around my neck so I couldn't breathe or speak, and nothing the band said and nothing I said made any difference.

So, Thursday, we left Dad's around 2:30.  His girlfriend couldn't go due to her chemotherapy schedule and I had been unsuccessful at selling her ticket for the show or even giving it to any number of my friends.  So I just had the thought, "Tonight you can use the extra to make someone's life a little bit better" and I figured the right person would present themselves in some way that I would know to give them a pass.

We got to Kingston and I was on a mission for a while to find some Canadian stuff that I never did manage to find.  We had dinner and headed over to the K Rock Center, and no problem whatsoever--we were in the system, they gave us the passes and we were in.  (This is stark contrast to my experience with LiveNation at the Train concert--I never received my initial email and only with the sheerest of luck did I go over to the concert venue early and discover the meet n greet group, because no one at the venue itself had any idea of what was going on for the VIPs!).  And going to a concert in Canada is a totally different experience, let me also say that.  When I took Leah to see the Fresh Beat Band in November, my bags were searched and I was sent packing with my iPad, and told I couldn't have it with me.  In contrast, the guy manning the door at the KRock center didn't even seem all that concerned that I had a huge tote bag with me full of "stuff", I wasn't searched at all, and they barely glanced at our tickets.  Everyone was unfailingly polite, friendly, and completely unconcerned that I might set off a dirty bomb.  It was eye opening and refreshing.  A reminder of a saner time, it reinforced my growing love affair with Canada.

Me and Leah with Emma from England

So we went over to the VIP area and waited, Dad walked Leah around the center to burn off some energy and at 7 on the dot, we were met by the tour manager and he was prepared to take us 'backstage.'  As we were heading out, I saw a group of 3 ladies next to us and two of them were going backstage and one was not--she said goodbye to her friends and told them to have fun.  I asked her if she didn't have a pass and she did not, so I asked her if she would like one.  She said, "Are you serious?!" and in a perfect little English accent no less.  So I said yes, and I gave her Linda's pass and we walked backstage together.  It turned out she was visiting Orlando, FL from England and had come up to Kingston to visit her friends who were going to the BNL concert.  I asked her if she had seen them before and she said she went to every single show they did in the UK.  I was sure to tell her how totally jealous I was of her.  :)  So it just worked out perfectly that I was able to give her the pass--I got a little English culture and she was a lovely person and it really made me so happy.  She said she would buy me a drink later if I found her, but given that I don't drink, I told her I'd be happy with a photograph for my scrapbook and she happily obliged.  It was just right.  It really was the icing on the cake of my evening.

We were taken to a little area that was cordoned off from the main corridor of the arena.  We were still in the hallway, just behind a beverage cart, sectioned off only by a black curtain.  It was explained to us that the band would come out and stand in front of one section of the curtain, and each "group" would go up and have a group picture taken by the official photographer and then we could break into small groups and the band would come around do autographs and take individual pictures with each of us.  The band came out and everyone applauded, and then my first thought was, "Oh shit."  Because Ed Robertson was wearing a black t-shirt exactly like the one Pat Monahan had been wearing in Charlotte.  Well, there was nothing to do about it, except to wait and see what was going to happen.  On the plus side, I had let Leah bring her stuffed llama with her, which she got as a Christmas present from my dad, so I hoped that might be enough to keep her calm.

So we all formed a queue and each group sure enough got up there and got there picture taken.  When it was our turn, my dad said, "C'mon, Kate, let's get in there."  He was carrying Leah's coat under one arm, and as he stepped forward, Ed said, "You know, sir, if you would just put that little pink coat on, you wouldn't have to carry it."  HAHAHAHA  Then they made the appropriate comments over Leah's llama, which set her at ease, so she wasn't screaming and freaking out and she actually stood for a picture! Hooray!

Now little did I know, my dad had it in his head that BNL was somehow going to offend or insult me or Leah, and he was totally loaded for bear.  You can see he has one arm protectively on my shoulder, totally ready to push Kevin the hell away. But as we walked off, he made the comment, "Hmmm, a nice group of young men." 

So off we went to a different side of the room and after all the groups had their picture taken, sure enough, they split up and came around.  We first met Kevin, and he is easily the quietest so it was a brief encounter.  I had brought a box of Kraft dinner and some boomerangs to have autographed--Boomerang is probably my favorite song on Grinning Streak, and I thought the Kraft dinner and the llama went nicely together.  I was feeling way shy and I didn't have much to say to him and, "My sister's madly in love with you and would probably sell her three children into slavery if you just say yes" didn't seem appropriate.  But Leah, as you can see, picked up the slack nicely :)  And he was very, very nice.  Probably scared of my dad!

Next up was Tyler, and he was awesome too.  I still felt nervous to say much, so I didn't, but he talked to Leah about the llama and signed all our stuff and was really nice and kind.  My dad manned the camera and took actually pretty good shots--we all kept our heads and no one got cut off, so I was very proud of him.  I imagined Tyler would be the easiest to talk to, given that he's so outgoing and a bit crazy on stage, but I was just literally in awe of being around these people, so I just let Leah do the talking.  And she was utterly nonplussed.  See the llama sticking up in the bottom of this picture?  Yeah, she was all about "Look at my llama, mister!"

And then, Ed came over.  Glorious.  I finally had the good sense to ask for a posed photograph with him, and asked him a few things, I don't really remember what.  He asked Leah what her name was, how old she was, and about her llama (and yes, they really do pronounce it lam-uh, not law-muh) and then I asked him for the picture and he was happy to do so, and put his arm right around me, so I put mine around him.  I probably said some crazy shit, I really don't even remember, but I did notice that he sounded kind of sick.  And I was thinking "Well that sucks!" And then it was over.  I thought of a million things I should have said afterwards, but in the heat of the moment, I just froze.  So there you have it.

Finally, Jim came over and him I could actually talk to!!!  Hooray!!!  I always enjoy watching him on stage and told him so, and told him about the other concerts I'd been to in the past few months.  We got talking a bit about Chicago and I said, "remember how it was about 9,000 degrees out there?" and he remembered it very well, but said it was a really fun show to do.  So I asked him for a picture as well and sure enough, he was happy to do it.  And I wished him well on the show and off he went.

It was a really nice backstage experience--15 or 20 minutes, got time with each member of the band, Leah didn't flip out, my dad didn't kill anyone, it was a lot of fun.  So after they all left, we went out and got our seats and listened to Clara Venice and Ladies of the Canyon, the two opening acts, then in fairly short order, the familiar strains of Limits came on and the show started.  The crowd started out pretty tame--a few other people and I jumped out of our seats to dance to Brian Wilson, but they were playing a few slow numbers and Ed did in fact say he had something going on with his throat and he had to take a quick shot of something between each song.  Eventually quite a crowd formed in front of the stage, and unlike Fredericksburg, where we were booted back to our seats, the security there was unimpressed and let us dance to our hearts content, which is what Leah asked me if she could do, so I took her up there.  She was quite a hit!  She was dancing her patoot off, and Jim noticed and played a bit closer to her (she has since declared that he is her favorite.)  Well, she was such a hit in fact that a lady next to us picked her up and tried to put her on stage. This was where security finally drew the line, but they just came over and yelled "no, no, no!" and as soon as Leah's feet were back on the ground, they disappeared again.  And really, Leah wanted NO part of it--she said it scared her.  Still, I don't know too many 4 year olds who can say they were onstage with Train (she was one of the mermaids selected to go onstage during that concert) AND Barenaked Ladies.  :-)

Eventually she wanted to go lay down near my dad, and I had brought ear protectors for her because she cried a lot at the Train concert and I thought she would feel better if she could have peace and quiet.  Sure enough she popped them on and fell asleep.  By the end, everyone was on their feet, even Dad, and cheering and screaming and having a great time.  They did one encore, which Tyler did to preserve Ed's voice, but he has such awesome presence that everyone just went nuts.  It was so much fun!

So what did Dad think?  From his Facebook:

It was a great night for all of us.  We got home around 1AM, even though Dad was so excited he did 80MPH part of the way home.  It was hard to fall asleep, so I checked out the rest of their 2014 tour dates around Canada, but nothing was where it would be terribly easy to get to.  (Not that this is stopping me, mind you!)  The current BNL Twitter statuses are full of scans of Ed's vocal chords, so it's looking like they're taking whatever it is pretty seriously.  Still, I'll keep monitoring the tour listings and I'll just keep on going.  I've been 5 times now, and every single show has been so fun and so different, I can't imagine I won't want to continue.  Meeting fellow fans is as much fun as meeting the band, and I just really, really have enjoyed it, and converting my dad to a fan is an added bonus.  Seeing them in Canada was also really fun!  It was so laid back and cool.  BNL Forever!